D.J. DAN PODCAST 06/26/06

D.J. Dan has added another podcast today. Head to his site and click on podcast archives and then today’s date. This will take you to a Monster.com sponsored page. Find the podcast “Shutting Down the Man” at the bottom of the screen and click on it. Then “Get the podcast here.
D.J. Dan Podcast 06/26

Monster.com preamble:

Podcast: Shutting Down the Man

In this podcast, conspiracy-theorist DJ Dan talks about Rachel Blake and whether she is on her way to bringing down The Hanso Foundation – or whether her quest will lead to her own demise.

Will her search for evidence against the Foundation lead to a dead end, or will the world help bring about the downfall of this seemingly corrupt corporation and its leader, Dr. Thomas Werner Mittlewerk? Listen to what DJ Dan has to say.

Here is the transcription of the podcast.

Announcer: Coming to you live from the hackles on the back of your neck.

Singing: D.J. DAN...

Announcer: You’re listening to DJ Dan shutting down the man.

DJ Dan: It’s happened Tonya, I’m in love…

Tonya: Who is it this week?

DJ Dan: Nope – this one’s different Tonya, this one’s special, this love Tonya, it’s Shutting Me Down!

Tonya: Why is that Dan?

DJ Dan: Because it’ a forbidden Love…

Tonya: You’re married, every love is a forbidden love.

DJ Dan: Does a priest date his parishioners?

Tonya: I hope not.

DJ Dan: Does a shepherd date his flock?

Tonya: Once again…

DJ Dan: And her name is Rachel Blake, Tonya, and she is the ultimate Conspiraspy

Tonya: How did you meet?

DJ Dan: Oh we didn’t but we have to. If you’re listening Rachel, we need to talk. So here’s the deal. I’m on the web surfing around my favorite Area51 sites when one of my Conspirapies IMs me. Garthasoid, your shoutout! So, I head to this little blog by this beautiful girl, say, lower- middle twenties? Has that scrubbed movie-version of the girl next door look. All smiles and eyelashes. And the site talks about how she’s on a post-college Euro-tour. So I’m thinking, “Ok, this chick is a little slice of heaven, but really, why does Garthasoid think I have to check this out?” I mean, Garthasoid you know what’s going down. We’re talking crop circles, we’re talking Loch Ness, and if I could, just for a second, just to put this whole business to rest for you Nessie-heads, it’s a sound stage you morons – the same place where they faked the Mars landing. Anyway, point is – Rachel’s blog is pleasant, but I don’t have the time to be finding out which Geronimo Jackson song Little Susie Cornbelt is listening to when she’s missing her Mommy. But then I enter this code Garthasoid sends me, and the bells and whistles go off. And Jesus, Mary and Joseph Stalin! We got ourselves a huge nother honkin ball of wax! It’s a video blog. Turns out Rachel is stalking this corporate dude, and the more I watch, the more I realize that everything is connected. Because the dude is none other than Dr. Thomas Werner Mittlewerk. Evil name, I know, and it fits, cause if you don’t know, Dr, Mittlewerk , he is a perpetrator of atrocities in the name of good. Dr. Mittlewerk is president of none other than…

Announcer (deep, sinister): the HANSO FOUNDATION!

D.J. Dan: Aka Evil, Inc., aka Secrets International, aka we do bad things in the name of wickedness and greed and sell them to the world as “we’re saving the planet through our science one adorable child at a time.” Cue the rainbow and fuzzy puppies. So I’m on the site and you’ve got to go – the footage out there is just nuts. And then I start to think – is Rachel our girl? Is this the infamous Persephone? Hacker of the Hanso Foundation website? Could be. And then I start thinking, “What is she doing? Is she like us? Is she looking for Alvar Hanso who’s been strangely missing from the world for the past four years? Is she really after Mittlewerk? Is she gonna take ‘em all down? Is she gonna take ‘em all down to Chinatown? I mean, who knows? And then I get worried. Rachel, once again if you’re listening, you’ve gotta grow a fake beard or something honey, these Hanso people, they’re…. Anyway Conspiraspies, eyes on the prize. If Rachel Blake is willing to risk her pretty little neck, let’s step up and help her. Go to her site, rap with her. And if you ever happen to bump into her in the real world and she’s being followed by some shady goons, do us all a favor and drop a banana peel.”

Announcer: You’re listening to DJ Dan, shutting down the man.

Monster.com commercial follows.