“Podcast: "Shutting Down the Man"
In this podcast, conspiracy-theorist DJ Dan describes the societal and environmental effects of genetic engineering, specifically examining The Hanso Foundation.
The mega science corporations want us to believe that genetic engineering is all part of nature's master plan, and that they're bringing us a better future. But does shuffling around our DNA to make our unborn children have blue eyes instead of brown really mean a better future? DJ Dan argues these companies must realize there are consequences to their actions.”
Announcer: Coming to you live from the part of you that refuses to lie down.
Singing: D. J. Dan
Announcer: You’re listening to D.J. Dan. Shutting down the Man!
D.J. Dan: No, no, no, no! Tonya. Darwinian evolution is a lie! Intelligent design is a bigger lie to make evolution look like even less of a lie! I’m sick of it and I’m shutting it down! Sarah from Cleveland, go!
Sarah: Ah…. Hi D.J. Dan. Ah… I’m a fan, but, are you saying evolution is fake? Like, ah… birds don’t come from dinosaurs?
D.J. Dan: No, I’m saying there’s more to it than that. That the mega-science corporations they want us to believe that the unnatural work they’re doing in genetic engineering is just part of ma natures master plan. Take the Hanso Foundation; if you’re a loyal listener Sam then you know I have issues with this bunch of crazy monkeys. Now I’m aware that some of the stuff we talk about on the show is a little fuzzy around the edges. But the Hanso Foundation, these guys are as real a threat as we’ve ever seen. I’ve been saying it for years, but now, the hacker Persephone, she’s serving us up a batch of proof puddin’. The Hanso Foundation, you’ve seen their ads, they’re bringing us a better future… science is going to save the world… blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! And I say, don’t believe it!
Sarah: Oh… Why not?
D.J. Dan: Why not? Definitely not because company founder Alvar Hanso, an arms dealer, with ties to the original atom bomb, refuses to release any true details about any of his programs. Oh, definitely not because they’re letch spokesman Hugh McIntyre refuses to say one word about they’re alleged human rights violations. No! Because every day we become more and more advanced. We get closer to the end. These Hanso Foundation perverts say they’re going to prevent. Genetic Engineering, you know what that is? Changing our DNA to give our babies blue eyes instead of brown or give them the know-how to juggle flaming bowling pins in the cradle. It’s all a lie! You know what happens when you start shuffling your genes around? No! Nobody does! But, I’ve seen those steroid cases, those guys whose growth plates have turned back on. They are Neanderthals! There are consequences to our actions, people. Don’t you see, they want us all to look the same. To be ashamed of who we are and where we’re from. Because once they’ve done that to us, once they’ve just let us give away our individuality, they’re going to swoop down out of the sky and take over without a fight. Yeah, we’ve got Lou from Chicago. Deep Dish Louie! Convince me otherwise! Come on!
Lou: Hey, Dan. I think you’re over reacting.
D.J. Dan. Um hmmmm.
Lou: I mean look, I have a birthmark or two. One looks like a potato. And the other looks like Italy.
D.J. Dan: The boot or Sardina?
Lou: Actually, ah, Tuscany.
D.J. Dan: Good one.
Lou: But, I’ve always wished they could be more like tattoos. Couldn’t we play with the DNA and give our kids like some cool birthmarks?
D.J. Dan: Whoa, whoa, whoa… what are you talking about? You mean like a family crest? A cute little bird? How about a barcode so they can keep track? Huh? Is that what you want?
D.J. Dan: Well, congrats Louie, you just made my top three DUMBEST THINGS I EVER HEARD!! Shutdown! Whose next?
Richard: Richard, from Alexandria, Virginia.
D.J. Dan: Tricky Dick from Alexandria.
Richard: Listen Dan I heard what your last caller said about the tattoos and I think people are already doing that but with animals.
D.J. Dan: Uh, what do you mean, Dick?
Richard: I mean, I was diving off the Great Barrier Reef last year and we came upon this shark right. This things toast and on its tail is like, a tattoo, its like a black octagon with some word on it. It starts with a D. Things pretty rotted away.
D.J. Dan: Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, tell me you got pictures of that shark?
Richard: Of course, I can send them right over.
D.J. Dan: You know what I think, Dick, I think you’re Conspiraspy of the month! We gotta take a break more with ….
Tonya: Wait a minute Dan. I’ve got a caller hear. Says he has to talk to you right now.
D.J. Dan: Really? Well, what are you waiting for, Tonya? Put him back on. Come on! Caller you’re shutting down the man!
Unidentified man: You’re going to want to be more careful, Dan!
D.J. Dan: Uh, O.K. and who am I speaking with?
Unidentified man: You think you can keep taking shots at the Hanso Foundation with no fear of retaliation?
D.J. Dan: Uh, once again, who are you and why are you calling me?
Unidentified man: You think you’re safe to smear good people because you broadcast from different locations like that 2nd floor motel room now off of the five freeway driving a green Jeep Compass license plate….
D.J. Dan: Hey! Hey! Hey! Easy there little troll! Hey! What’s this about?
Unidentified man: It’s about your fragile life. How easy it can be exposed… the way you expose others and…
D.J. Dan: Now, now… come on… that’s enough, that’s enough…
Unidentified man: How easy your address… and your real name… and where you really work!
D.J. Dan: Hey! That’s enough…
Unidentified man: And where your wife’s….
D.J. Dan: THAT’S ENOUGH!!! Hey! You one of their goons? Is that what this is about? Well, you can tell your boss I ain’t backin’ down! This is not the first frustrating call I’ve gotten buddy, not by a long shot! My real name is D.J. Dan, my location is inside your web of lies, and my job is shutting you dow…..
Unidentified man: Dan, you’ve been warned!
D.J. Dan: Wow! Did you hear that, Tonya? I guess we’ve been warned. Well, that was special. If you didn’t thing there was proof before. There you have it folks! D.J. Dan, I guess I better name a successor.
Announcer: You’re listening to D.J. Dan. Shutting down the man!
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next podcast coming on 6/12...